Game Again
by miku
Summary: *Completed* This is HanaRu and SenRu with a bit of SenKosh and... er... just read... Sorry, really; a sequel to expectation but it had it's own story so don't worry. That's all, i don't know how to write summary ;;
1. Part 1

**Game Again **

_By miku_

* Standard disclaimers apply. Thank You. *

Author's Note:

This fic serves as a sequel to "Expectations". For those who haven't read it yet (and are not planning to ^^;), I'll provide enough flashbacks or helpful information to help you understand the events.

To those who do not want Sendoh and Rukawa together, I warn you already.

************

**Rukawa:**

_Sigh._

I was invited to a basketball camp. Not that I hated it; after all, I liked anything that involved basketball. But it was somewhat different this time. I was requested to help train high school basketball players. I did not agree at first but after so much coaxing from Hanamichi (who was the one who referred me to the organizer) and Ayako (one of the organizers), I finally accepted the part.

It had been two years and I was now no longer in the Shohoku Team. I entered a particular university with Hanamichi. Kogure and Miyagi were also there and some non-Shohoku players like Fujima, Rango, Jin and Nobunaga. We composed almost the whole of basketball team of our new school except for Kogure who wanted to concentrate in his studies. Akagi was granted a scholarship to America and he pursued his course there. I too, received a scholarship the same scholarship but I was still thinking about it.

Hanamichi did not want me to leave but he was trying to be more understanding knowing that it had been my ultimate dream.

I did not want to leave, too, even though I was not sure what was really holding me back.

I zipped close my duffel bag and stared at the clothes I would wear – blue denims and maroon shirt. Hanamichi also lent me his sweater with an eye-catching "TENSAI" in front. I sweatdropped. I would never wear that one. I opened my bag again and stocked the sweater inside. Then I grabbed a towel and headed to the bathroom.

************

My baggage was already waiting for me at the door but I was still waiting for Hanamichi to arrive. He went to buy me some foods for my trip even though I told him that it was not necessary anymore; I would just sleep the whole ride anyway. However, Hanamichi was persistent, as always.

I propped myself to the couch and closed my eyes.

I was not into socializing but I would sure need it during the camp because _I_ would be training the participants. It would be hard doing my responsibility without saying anything. Or maybe I could experiment on that one. What, do some hand signal or write my messages on a paper and let my student just read them? I pictured myself doing that and I sweatdropped. I was being too silly already… might've been Hanamichi's influence.

The door swung open and Hanamichi, carrying a load of groceries, came running straight to the kitchen. "Sorry for taking too long! Wait for your food okay?"

I sighed, stood up and followed my lover to the kitchen. I leaned to the doorframe and watched how my redhead rushed in packing my snacks. I felt my lips twitched in a slight smile.

Hanamichi was very kind to me and sometimes I thought that I did not deserve his kindness. I could not even utter the words "I love you". I have told him those words how many times? Once or twice? And to think that we have been living together for almost two years!

When can I be true to you, Hana? That was all you were asking me to do, but I could not… I could not grant your only wish…

I've changed somehow but the most important aspects were still withheld…

Because…

Because what…?

Because I myself was still incomplete?

Because I could not be true to myself, what more to you?

But I did not know what's missing, that's the truth.

I felt Hanamichi's hand lifting up my chin. "Thinking again, precious?"

I smiled wistfully. _Am I really precious to you, Hana? _

"What are you thinking about? The camp?" he followed asking noting the sad expression on my face. I shook my head and answered, "No. About us…"

A wide genuine smile trailed in his face and he pulled me to a tight and passionate embrace. "I don't want you to be sad whenever thinking about us," Hanamichi whispered huskily in my ear. Then he patted me on the back and gave me my pack. "Take care of yourself there, okay?"

"Okay…"

"I'll miss you."

************

"Okay everybody! Please settle down!"

Ayako clapped her hands cheerfully. There were many eager participants this year after learning that the best basketball players would be the one to train them. Ayako was so happy noting the numbers but I was not.

I was just standing beside Ayako, arms crossed on my chest and eyes looking dead. Maki and Fujima were also invited. They were with some of the participants, talking as if they knew one another a long time ago.

"One more important person and we're going to start! He said that he'd be late for fifteen minutes so let's just wait for him, okay?" Ayako announced to the excited crowd who were so engrossed with guessing who could that person be.

Hn.

"Rukawa-kun," Ayako called. "It had been a long time. Good thing you agreed to take part on this camp."

Ayako had never changed – physically and socially.

_You coerced me, just to remind you_. But instead of saying those words out loud, I just snorted and turned my eyes to the open door of the gymnasium hoping at least to see something interesting. But of course there was none.

"You never changed, Rukawa. And how's Sakuragi?" she continued inquiring. She checked her watch and then checked the participants again.

They really increased in number this year.

"Still do'aho…" I answered smiling inwardly upon remembering the redhead's face. He really looked so stupid yet cute nonetheless.

I heard Ayako sighed and then she looked at me with her knowing eyes, now slyly narrowed as if telling me something I knew would irritate me. I just rolled my eyes and looked at the door again.

As if waiting for someone…

Oh yes… I was indeed waiting for someone- the _important_ person who just informed us that he would be late. Not that I was interested nor that I cared… I just wanted the day to end as early as possible to rest. The trip really exhausted me…

I suddenly wondered if it would be cold tonight. I shiver at the thought - not of the cold but of thinking if I would forced to wear that "tensai" sweater of Hanamichi. I did not bring along with me any jacket; I guess that was not a good decision. I sighed and glanced at Fujima and Maki. They were talking to one another. Perhaps reminiscing their past high school days where their teams were rival?

"AH! Sorry everybody!! I see I'm the only one missing!" A stentorian voice caught my attention. I turned my eyes to the open door and there I see a very familiar image.

The image of the person I loved before.

The person I tried to forget…

By learning to love Hanamichi…

_Because that's the way it should be…_

He was the one who told me these words…

Sendoh Akira…

"Yes. We were waiting for you, you know? What happened?" Ayako queried while walking to him. I saw Fujima and Maki going to him, too. They must've missed the presence of Sendoh. I knew that they admired his skills in basketball… and I guess he did not change on that one.

He did not change at all…

That silly smile was still _plastered_ on his bright face… his hair was still spiked… his built was still the same except that he grew just a tad bit taller.

Sendoh…

I caught his eyes somehow darted towards my direction, but I guess he did not see me because he just continued talking with the three. And why did I feel hurt? Hn. This was much better after all… not having to socialize. But then…

It was not the reaction I thought I would gain from him… It was not like him at all…

Not that I thought of ever meeting him again but… knowing Sendoh… knowing him… the one who once told me those _words_… It was really not like him at all…

I heard Ayako clapped once more. She, together with the three players, made her way in the middle of the gym where I was standing. Then the seminar started with the presentation of the participants. Then the four of us basketball players were requested to share experiences. I chose to be the last. I did not want to really but of course… I had no choice…

I told them that I was a member of the Shohoku team once and that Ayako was our manager that time. I also told them that we had played with Kainan and almost beat them… Maki snickered… That was the truth, you know? If only I had a stronger stamina that time. Then I told them that we had entered the National Championship where we beat Sannoh. Hah! Take that note. We beat the _supposed-to-be_ best basketball team! But of course I did not say that out loud. It was Ayako, _not I_, who told the participants that I _was _a member of All Team Japan. The participant seemed so amused. Oh yeah… right… whatever…

I sighed.

I was not really used to speaking too much. Good thing that there was a god. The organizers finally told us that we could spend the whole day relaxing. I thought that I could quickly get to my room but Ayako asked me to join her so that we could talk about… past days…

"How are you and Sakuragi-kun?" she asked me. We were both leaning against a huge sakura tree, adjacent to one another. I wish I could just snort but then…

"Things are fine," I answered nonchalantly.

"Really… I actually thought at first that your relationship would not work out, you know?"

I glanced at her, observing her expression. She was still smiling… contentedly… and I could see that she said those words without really intending any harm. I just sighed and focused my eyes to the scenic view in front of me. The lake was shimmering with the light of the orange sky reflected upon it. Around the lake were full bloom flowers of different kinds…

I slightly smiled thinking how wonderful this place would be at night.

"I admire you both," she continued while I just kept on listening, "Even normal relationships seldom last long like yours do, you know?"

Yeah. Ours was abnormal. But then what could you expect with two abnormal people anyway?

I guess she finally realized that I wanted to rest that she offered me to show my room.

"You would not mind having someone's company, ne, Rukawa-kun?" she asked me as we walked the silent hallway of the inn. I just shrugged as my response. It would not matter as long as that person would learn to keep his mouth shut whenever I would be around… and that he would not snore when he sleep and that he would be neat with his things and that he would not ask me to wake him up and that…

I sighed…

Am I too demanding?

I sighed again…

Hanamichi… he snores, he's untidy, he's loud… always late in waking up… yet… I managed to somehow get used to it. However, he tried to change those unpleasant ways he had for me… I guess I'd been selfish.

"Here you go, this is your key," she announced waking me up from my yet another reverie. I took the key and stared at the door as if it was something new. Oh boy… I'm getting really silly already… "That's a door, Rukawa-kun. It opens when you turn the knob and…"

I glared at her and she stopped _explaining_. Of course I knew this. Do'aho. No… I'm calling myself do'aho and not Ayako.

"Well then, don't be scared to enter okay? I'll be just in my room. Number 307." Then she left while humming a song.

For the third time, I sighed and inserted the key. It did no effect to the lock so I guess it was open already. Perhaps the person who would share with me this room was already inside. I turned the knob, pulled the door open and silently came in. The first thing, rather, figure, I saw was a man lying on one of the beds, arms behind his head and looking above the ceiling as if contemplating something.

I knew him.

Am I fortunate or what?

I set my baggage beside the unoccupied bed and then opened the closet just beside it. Empty. He had not yet placed his things or maybe not planning to. I started unpacking. The first thing I saw upon opening my duffel bag was the "tensai" sweater of Hanamichi. I sweatdropped. You would not leave me in peace, would you? I threw the sweater to my bed and let it stayed there for quite sometime. I'd find a good place for it later.

After transferring some things on the closet, I left enough space for my companion's; I turned and observed the sweater. I smirked upon remembering Hanamichi wearing it. That was one of the things that did not change in him – his claim of being a genius. Oh well… at least let him feel something good about himself.

I planned on just hanging it on the clothes rack together with my jersey and some shirts. After fixing everything, I carefully sat on the bed, my back against my all-the-while-silent companion.

This was so unlikely of him.

This was not like Sendoh Akira at all…

But then, now I realized why. Things were different now. And the way we parted was quite… a wistful memory and I guess… he could still remember.

Like me…

I could still clearly remember that they when we bid good-bye to one another. Because we had to. Because I already had Hanamichi and he already had Koshino back then. And continuing seeing each other would just be very painful.

But fate was really twisted and unkind.

Both of us in this training camp, spending our one-week in the same room.

If Ayako knew what happened back then I would say that she planned all of this. But she did not so I have no claim… wait…

She knew some part of it… she was there when Akira announced that he… well… had feelings for me. _Had_, okay?

Oh… wait again… I have no right to call him Akira anymore.

So if that was the case, could Ayako really planned this at the start? She was like that, you know? Oh well… I should not get affected, right? Right.

But I was.

It had been years since I tried to forget him. I thought I succeeded. I thought that being with Hanamichi would help me forget.

But.

Just seeing him once again, without even talking to him, without even touching him, I suddenly became uncertain of my feelings again. But no, I was certain all along, but I kept on trying to deny it.

Because it was wrong.

Because it should not be.

Because we had our own lives and worlds already.

I should not love him anymore.

I laid my body on the soft bed, one foot still hanging at the side. How could I endure seven days like this. If it were just anybody, I would not mind. But it was Sendoh.

My eyes were getting heavy already. Good thing that the trip spent almost all my energy. At least I would not go on thinking about a lot of things anymore. Maybe I should just stay in this room to sleep and do some necessary stuffs. In that way I could avoid him… avoid the memories…

Hn.

Being a coward again, Rukawa?

Ah… I just want to sleep.

************

Hmm… I still wanted to sleep but…

I shoved the blanket aside, sat and rubbed sleep off my eyes. Hey, wait a minute…

I could not remember wrapping myself with that blanket. _Oh well, I do silly things when I'm awake what more when I'm asleep? _

I glanced at Sendoh's bed. He was not there anymore. His bed was neatly fixed already. I roamed my eyes around the room. I could see from the window that it was still dark outside. The light in our room was still turned off yet there were lamps illuminating the corners. I noticed a ray of light coming from the bathroom. Perhaps he was taking a bath…

Quite unusual… (not that he was taking a bath, okay! :o) He told me back then that he always woke up late…

Well, it had been two years anyway and how would I know what changed in him?

The door opened and Sendoh appeared with only a dark blue towel wrapped around his waist.

Dark blue was one of his favorite colors. He said that it matched his eyes. And that it reminded him of the color of my eyes. Well, that was before. I doubted he could even remember me fully…

Sendoh…

_It hurt me honestly, you know? Being close with you yet… unable to be present in your eyes… _

AH! I was staring too long at him, I guess. I felt blood rising in my face. Good thing it was somehow dark...

_Damn me! Why am I acting like this? _

I slowly turned my face away and then stood up. I walked to the clothes rack, where he was standing near at the moment. Kaede, you're just going to grab your towel that's all. You would not do anything stupid, okay? Nothing stupid…

Yeah…

But I felt like I'm a walking ice block. I passed by him feeling the heat from his body and… the ice block almost melted…

_Damn it! Why am I acting like a girl in a shojo manga anyway?!?!?_

_Damn it! He could read me! He's smirking insanely. Damn it, Akira! Leave me at peace, will you?_

I pulled my towel, quite harshly, and I guess he was quite surprised. I walked to the bathroom hastily. _Stupid me! I'm not like this!_

I should not blame him, too. I was not his fault.

_It's not his fault that I still love him…_

Sendoh…

Why… why of all people…

************

Training ended at last. There was still another one scheduled in the afternoon, but at least I could relax. This was the only time I hated hearing the words" basketball court".

The participants were good actually. I could see my former colleagues with them - someone short but agile like Miyagi, quick-tempered but good three-pointer Mitsui. I even saw two people who were brawling with one another. They were like me and Hanamichi, always mocking each other. I laughed inwardly. So we looked like jerks before doing that? But it was fun insulting him. I smiled.

I was forced to wear Hanamichi's "tensai" sweater because the temperature this morning was far beyond my power. Ayako, Fujima and Maki actually teased me with that. Oh well, at least only the three of them.

This was what I should do, right? T_hink about Hanamichi and not Sendoh._ _But here I am again thinking about him, anyway._

I should try to avoid it.

The door opened rudely. I looked at it, surprised, and saw Sendoh standing there. He was facing me yet his eyes were darted somewhere. Now what?

"Your lover's on the phone downstairs," he announced coldly, even emphasizing the word "lover". Okay. B_eing cold is okay, but being rude is another thing._ Anyway, why should I even think about it? As of now, I stood up a little cheerfully knowing that Hanamichi called.

Talking to him would help unwanted thoughts vanish.

I ran past him and descended the stairs.

Sorry. I should have not done that but he would not care anyway. Maybe he was mad that he was requested to call me. That was really unlike him. He changed so much…

Ayako was on the phone and she smiled upon noticing me. Then she handed me the phone and I quickly recognized Hanamichi's voice. Still cheerful… still warm… I nearly smiled if Ayako was only not there.

"Hana…"

It was only a day and he said he missed me already? Should I believe you? That's quite impossible you know? But then, thank you…

"Me too." That was true. I missed him already but not as much as he was claiming he was missing me. I was used being alone anyway… and being far from people. But I still missed his presence somehow.

I saw Sendoh descended from the second floor, picked up the newspaper at the table and sat at the couch. Ayako excused herself; I nodded in response while Sendoh smiled.

He could smile to others, I noticed.

I was actually grumbling at that fact but I should only focus on Hanamichi.

"Yes," he asked me if I were fine. He asked me if the weather was okay? _I'm not a child anymore Hana, but thank you for the concern…_

"What?!" I accidentally exclaimed hearing Hanamichi's, well, missing of something we do. It was not sex. We rarely had sex. It was just embrace and kisses and ,well, nothing so much literally below the belt. I sighed and almost smirked. "Get used to it, Hana. It'll only be one week anyway."

_I love you, Kaede._ There. He just said those words again and what? I could only smile wistfully knowing that I could not… well… I could! It was just _a little_ difficult for me to say because it was unlikely of me, but he deserved it, right?

"Aa… I love you, too." There I said it at last but quite with a bit of hesitation? _Hana… I don't know but you deserve someone better than me._ I heard you laughing. You liked hearing those words from me, but I have only actually said them twice. Thrice, now.

Finally, we hung up. I sighed, turned and walked back to the room avoiding looking at Sendoh. I did not know why but it felt awkward…

************

Night again. At least it would be much easier than day. I could just force myself to sleep before I could do something silly again. I was lying on my bed now and Sendoh was washing his hair. I wanted to laugh but I could not of course. He should quit gelling his hair too much. It would ruin his hair strands someday I bet. Oh well, if that would make him happy...

There were knockings on the door and I opened it. Ayako was there holding two plastic bags of ice cream. She asked me to choose two so I did. Midnight treat she explained.

I chose strawberry and vanilla. I liked chocolate but Ayako said they were already reserved for her. So I chose vanilla. Sendoh liked strawberry.

As I closed the door, I saw Sendoh coming out from the bathroom, face in deep frown having been fixing his hair for almost an hour. _I told you, quit the hair gel already. _

He propped himself to the bed, turned on the TV and concentrated in watching. I went to him and handed him the strawberry ice cream. Then he looked quizzically at me. I cocked my head confused.

"Ayako came and brought ice cream. I thought you like strawberry so…" I explained although I was not sure why. I saw a slight smirk in his face and he focused on watching TV while eating his ice cream. I could see him smiling – the first time I ever saw him smile with me… again…

Perhaps because of the ice cream?

Or the cartoon he was watching?

I sweatdropped. He was still Sendoh after all.

I sat at my bed, squeezed a pillow on my lap and watched TV, too, while eating my ice cream.

************

I could not sleep.

I wondered if a stroll near the lake would ease me. I thought that the lake would look splendid at night.

So I silently stood up, went to the clothes rack to find something to warm me but I found none. Hanamichi's sweater was stained a while ago. One of the participants accidentally spilled juice on it. So I had it in the laundry. Anyway, it would not be too cold for my system not to endure anyway. So, I left the room quietly.

As what I expected, the lakeside was bewitching. The moon and the stars were reflected on its clear and glimmering water. There were even fireflies in the darker part going to the woods. The scent of the flowers lingered in the air.

The place was intoxicating.

I leaned to a nearby tree and stared peacefully at the lake. I was hugging myself because it was cold. It was very cold actually but I did not pay so much attention to the temperature having in front of me one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen.

I let myself drift to serenity for the time being…

Until the place seemed darker all of the sudden. The light coming from the fireflies vanished swiftly. The atmosphere got colder as the wind blew softly giving me goosebumps. Unknowingly, dark clouds have made its way to the once shimmering sky. The reflection of the moon and stars was gone as the lake was perturbed by the light raindrops until it fell in its harshest. I immediately went looking for a shelter. The inn was a little far from here.

I found solace in the enclosed swing made for lovers…

I sighed…

I leaned at the metal post supporting the roof of the swing and hugged myself tighter. The swing rocked slowly causing a creaking sound. I sighed again… I should not stay here any longer but the the rain was pouring madly as if it was mocking me of my decision of going in this place.

I could run back to the inn but I'd be very wet.

Who would care anyway?

Hanamichi would. But he's not around so nobody would care if I'd be soaking wet tonight.

Yeah…

I slowly rose from my position. The wind blew again and I shuddered. I wrapped my arms around me again and shut my eyes tightly. I could almost envision myself looking so vulnerable with the coldness now… the coldness that I symbolized…

Then all of the sudden, I felt a warm cloth draped around my shoulder. I turned my head slowly and noticed that it was a blue jacket. Then I carefully turned around to see someone standing closely behind me his eyes staring intently at me and he was… slightly smiling.

"Akira…" I uttered softly, "I mean… Sendoh…"

He nodded and stepped closer to me leaving no space between us as he fixed the jacket which was hanging around me. "Why are you here?" he asked with unusual gentleness shown in his voice and eyes…

I could not answer for I was too entranced staring at how this tender expression suited him so much. I could feel my body shivering more although his body was warming me already.

"Let's go back," he offered and I only nodded in response. He moved a little away from me to open his umbrella. I suddenly missed his closeness already and I knew this was not right. Then he stepped down the swing as he held my arm obliging me to follow.

************

He handed me a towel and I dried myself. He was leaning against the wall and watching me the whole time, I knew.

"Thanks…" I spoke softly cursing my blushing cheeks. He might be laughing at me now. I lifted my face and searched for any expression in his face but… it was still the same… it was still gentle and… warm. All of the sudden, it felt unlike him already. I lowered my gaze and started folding the towel as if to disguise my discomfort.

"Why were you there?" he asked again.

"Just to get some air," I answered.

"And you did not even think about the weather and the time? It's already past midnight and it's cold. You did not even bring anything to warm you," he scolded… gently. If he were just some other person then I would just glare and yell at him to mind his own life. But he was Sendoh… and he cared. "What if you got sick?" he continued.

"I'm already a grown-up. I know how to take care of myself," I answered, a _little_ annoyed, just a little…

"You do? But what have you just done tonight?"

I breathe in some air feeling my temper rising already. "It's none of your concern."

"None of my concern? If it's not then why would I be wasting my time going down searching for you?" he countered, his voice getting a _little_ harsh…

"Yeah. Why? Why did you waste your time on me anyway?" I fought back glaring at him.

"Because I am concerned about you… because I still love you…" he answered returning my glare with a soft stare.

************

Next is Sendoh's POV. Review minna! Do you think I'm making any sense writing this story??? O_o


	2. Part 2

Game Again

By Miku

* Standard disclaimers apply.

This is rather short than Kaede's. I dunno… I guess I am not used in writing using Sendoh's POV but then… I need it so I have to try. Tell me if I suck, okay? Grammar-wise, as usual… ^^;; please just bear with me… ^^;;

************

Sendoh:

This was getting embarrassing, so to speak. This was one of the things Hiroaki warned me about.

Being late.

And to think I would one of the trainers! It was not my fault though, or so I believed. The first train bound to Okinawa left me! Well, yeah… because I woke up late. Oh but anyway, everybody had his flaws, right? Right. And I was just unfortunate that timeliness was not natural for me unlike being handsome and skilled (in everything up to the bed :p)

I just called Ayako-san to inform them that I'd be late for fifteen minutes. At least only fifteen minutes and not more than an hour or so.

As I disembarked the train, I immediately hired a taxi going to the camp. I planned on walking actually but I left the sketch of the site.

I wondered who would be at the camp. Maki told me he's going to be there. Oh, at least I knew two people already. It had been long time since I attended a camp. It had been two years since I decided to change my usual carefree mood (but then I did not succeed somehow…) because Hiro was often annoyed. He told me I should be serious once in a while or his family would not trust me. His family did not approve of our relationship at first having Hiro-kun their only son. But then… it was not a problem anymore now.

Yes. His family liked me after months of forcing them to believe that I was an honest man.

But that was what not solved the problem.

Hiro-kun and I were no more.

I smiled wistfully just in time the cab stopped. I just reached my destination at last. I hurriedly paid for my fare and entered the steel green gate.

The place was quiet. Perhaps everybody were already in the gym (and waiting for me of course ^^;). I found the gym easily. The door was open. I could clearly see now the participants. There were many this year. I breathed in some air and with my usual carefree smile, I announced my arrival.

"AH! Sorry everybody!! I see I'm the only one missing!"

I caught everybody's attention. They all looked at me as if I were a god or something. Yeah, right… I looked like a god after all… more handsome than Narcissus. Hehe.

"Yes. We were waiting for you, you know. What happened?" Ayako teased as she made her way to me. She did not change at all. I could still feel that I was back to the usual Inter High days. Maki was there also, so was Fujima, and they all went to me as if I were some kind of a celebrity. Yeah. They missed me a lot!

"I missed the first train, ehehe…" I explained still smiling. Now I knew I looked so silly already. But this was I alright. That would not change.

I shifted my gaze somewhere inside the gym. I did not know why though, I just felt like I had to. And that's when I saw him…

Standing in the middle of the court and I knew he could also see me.

Kaede…

I returned my gaze back to Ayako shy all of the sudden. He did not change too. No. He did change. He's much more… beautiful now. However, I have to avoid it. He had Sakuragi and I did not want to revive sad past memories.

Hiroaki was right. He was always right. He knew me too well and that was why we broke up.

We had been together for a year and I thought everything was going on smoothly. I did not know that I'd been too obvious with my feelings though. It was my birthday, I could still vividly remember. And he said, he'd give me a gift. And it was my freedom.

I was really stunned. I did not understand him.

He said that I was still incomplete. He said that I was still not satisfied. He said that he was not the one I love. We fought. I told him that it was not true but I felt guilty deep inside because I knew I was just denying everything.

Yes. I loved Hiro-kun… I did not want to hurt him…

But I could not love him the way I love… him…

The one standing in front of me now…

I thought I already forgot about him but during the times when I was with Hiro, inwardly, I would always compare him with Kaede. They were so much alike except that Hiro was more vocal about his feelings.

Yet, I knew it was not right. I did not want to destroy Kaede's relationship with Sakuragi. I did not want to be selfish. I knew I made the right decision when I… when I bid him my goodbye.

But was that really right?

I had been a coward.

"Hey!" I heard Maki said slapping my back lightly. "Mind's occupied with something, huh?"

"Or someone?" Ayako asked with her sly eyes. I could only smile sheepishly.

The training started. We were requested to share some experiences and I gladly offered to be the first. Hehe. So I narrated them my triumphs. I was so happy.

And as what I expected, Kaede was the last. I could not really believe how could someone narrate his success without smiling. But he did mention about almost beating Kainan and I thought I could sense some childlike feeling with his tone. It was even like a sort of tease to Maki's side. Kaede's really… different.

At last, we could rest now. I got my key from one of the organizers and quickly went to my room.

There were two beds and I knew right then that I'd have some companion. That would be nice. I hope we'd have interesting conversation.

I dropped my bag at one corner of the room. I would unpack later. Maybe before I sleep. I hope that my companion would not be neat-freak because… I could not consider myself one. Then I just dropped myself to the bed and stared at the ceiling. The atmosphere was too good for reminiscing.

"Kaede…" I uttered his name tenderly. I wonder if this was good… to see you again. It would only hurt us more. Or maybe you already forgot… but knowing you… it would not be easy, I know.

Maybe I should not make myself close to you again. Yes. I don't have Hiroaki anymore. I'm free. But you are not.

And maybe you were already happy with Sakuragi, too.

The smile vanished on my face as I remembered the past. Sakuragi… I did not know that he loved you. I did not even have the slightest hint that he liked you. I only learned that when I finally planned on making my move.

But your face when we parted… you seemed so sad. Did I hurt you? I'm sorry. I was hurt, too, but as what I told you, perhaps it was how it should be…

However, seeing you now again… I could not deny that… I still love you. I could not believe it though. I thought it was impossible for a man to fall for a man, too. It two men would have a relationship, one of them just probably want to take advantage. I thought that love for the same sex was just… a fad and a short time involvement.

But you changed my perception.

I never felt this way to any women I had before. They were all just infatuations.

You were really strange Kaede… how could you make me fall this hard for you?

"Well then, don't be scared to enter okay? I'll be just in my room. Number 307." I heard a woman's voice uttered behind the door. I'm sure she was Ayako. Maybe she accompanied the person I would share this room with. Oh well… come inside man. Let me see if you're worth being with Sendoh Akira for one whole week. I smirked but stayed unmoved. I moved my eyes to the door and watched it slowly opened. Even before he could fully show himself, I knew exactly who he was.

How could I mistake those jet-black hair…

And astounding aura…

Kaede…

I decided to shift my gaze back to the ceiling now before I could completely see him and lose myself.

He stood quiet for a moment… oh, he was always quiet… and then finally moved to place his duffel bag and unpack. Another dissimilarity of us…

I glanced at him silently unable to control myself of watching him. How I missed watching him.

He plopped a sweater on his bed quite looking… exasperated? I checked it and saw a huge "TENSAI" in front. Sakuragi's…

I felt a jab a jealousy and stared back at the ceiling although only for a short time because I still wanted to see him. He looked cute whenever he's annoyed actually… I could already feel a smile creeping up my face but I forced myself not to.

Realizing he just finished fixing his things, I avoided my gaze again for I he was now looking at my way, not at me of course. I took a peak somehow and saw him smirking. He was staring at the sweater and jealousy fired up in me again. I knew he was thinking of the redhead now.

I forced myself to concentrate thinking about other things like the training tomorrow. What should I do with the participants… hmmm… I wondered how would Kaede teach them. I felt laughter waiting to burst out in me. Would he use hand signal or just write his instruction at the paper?

Try not to smile, Akira or else Kaede would think you're insane!

Or pervert…

Thinking something… pervert…

Argh!

Then I glanced at him and noticed his back against me. He was still quiet. I guess I'm making him uncomfortable. But that was better, right?

Right…

We just stayed like that for a very long time. He finally lied down at the bed but was still silent. Maybe this was better… finally, after a few minutes, I realized that he was asleep. I smiled now. That was one thing that would never change in him too…

I slowly rose and sat at my bed and watched him. He looked so innocent when he's asleep. Maybe I should shot a picture of him sleeping sometime and show it to him that he would know how he looked like… he seemed like a child… vulnerable… his beauty open for all the world to see.

He stirred slightly wrapping one arm to himself. He must be cold. The weather's not too good anyway. I stood up, got a blanket, and covered it to him.

Hmmm…

I liked this much better… caring for him silently…

I returned to my bed, lied there and found my eyes getting heavy already…

Must be the weather…

And the comforting feeling having Kaede near me…

I yawned.

I should wake up earlier tomorrow… why? One thing, honestly. I wanted to take a bath before him. Because if he did it first and I saw him half naked at the room, I might just grab him and care nothing about the world anymore.

Kaede…

************

Good thing my body was following my mind now… I woke up before him and it was still dark. I decided not to turn the fluorescent light on for it might wake him up. So I just switched on the lamp beside me and the other one near the mirror and the clothes rack.

I could clearly see his face though… the warm glow from the lamp made him appear like glowing. I sighed. I knew I'm falling more and more but I had to avoid it… somehow…

I don't want to be hurt anymore. Call it selfish but I knew it was better than have myself hurt again, and you and Sakuragi.

A grabbed a dark blue towel and entered the bathroom.

After bathing, I went back to the room. I noticed that Kaede was already awake… and… was staring at me. Gods… was he really staring at me? Yes. He was. He lowered his gaze as if embarrassed and I saw blush creeping at his face even though there was poor light. He's blushing… how cute… what more… because of me. Now I'm beginning to think that he was feeling the same way… but maybe not… I don't want to expect.

He moved to get some clothes in the rack. Kaede stood up as well and walked near me. I was getting… giddy really but I have to act calm. But he was not. I was sure of it. This was the firs time I actually saw Kaede… frozen…

He was walking stiffly as if fearing of having a close contact with me.

He looked so cute that I could not help but smile – widely and… funnily? He must've noticed it for he harshly grabbed his towel and hurried to the bathroom. Did I make him uncomfortable again? This was not right but then… I think I'm enjoying it already.

I just sighed and shook my head happily.

************

It was very cold outside but I'm feeling warm inside. Maki and the others also noticed my unusual cheerfulness. I would not tell them why though. But whenever Kaede's around, I should act cold… not because I hate him… just to avoid bringing back memories…

But I think I could not longer hide it especially when I saw him wearing the "Tensai" sweater. I was jealous, really… but then, he looked so cute especially whenever he frown from the teasing of the people around.

There's another training this afternoon but we still had a long break before that. I relaxed myself at the living room and read the newspaper. Kaede was in the room, perhaps contemplating again, that's why I was here… to avoid being with him… because it would only heightened my feelings for him…

Ayako was sitting beside me and reading too.

"Tired with the participants?" she asked breaking the supposed-to-be silence in the area.

"Nah. I'm used to it anyway. It's fun, actually," I answered a little unmindful.

"I hope Rukawa-kun could be like you…"

That caught my full attention. "Eh? I think he had developed some social skills anyway. He's better in interacting now than before," I defended my raven boy.

Er…

… _the_ raven boy…

"You think so?" she inquired eyeing me skeptically.

What's with the look, Ayako-san? Was I obvious again? "Yeah." I answered silently trying to avoid any more conversation regarding Kaede. She was still looking at me with her knowing eyes when the phone rang. Thank goodness…

Or not?

Ayako picked the phone and greeted the one on the other line cheerfully. Then she called me. I stood up, cocked my head in question…

"Sendoh-kun, please call Rukawa. Tell him _his_ Sakuragi's on the line," she requested ever emphasizing the word "his".

Why did she have to do that?

I wanted to refuse but she would suspect, right? So I rudely went upstairs and opened our room's door. As I saw him, I could not help but prevent looking at him. So I told him what I was supposed to tell him, but I thought I acted harsh by saying, "Your lover's on the phone downstairs!"

I was jealous that's why I said those words. And I became even more as he ran downstairs completely passing me by. I was hurt. He loved Sakuragi.

I slowly went to the living room again and picked up the newspaper. I smiled at her as Ayako excused herself. I was watching Kaede from my place and I was actually… eavesdropping… ^^;;

"Yes…" I heard Kaede uttered softly… his voice full of… passion? Maybe listening to him was not a good idea but… Then I suddenly heard him exclaimed, "What?!" as he blushed. I knew quickly what could Sakuragi have told him… I would not be called a pervert for nothing.

I saw a slight twitch to Kaede's lips and I felt jealousy again. "Get used to it, Hana. It'll only be one week anyway," Kaede continued speaking.

Hana… how he spoke of that name so intimately… I wish he could call me Akira with the same voice… or even… much more passion.

Kaede was quiet all of the sudden and I wondered why. His eyes turned slightly wistful. He seemed confuse and torn. I wanted to know why.

Until he uttered the word, "I love you, too," and I felt my world shattered into pieces.

He hung up finally and went upstairs without even seeming to notice me.

************

I struggled in the sink washing my hair off with gel. It could be damn frustrating at time but I got used to it anyway. I was almost finished when I heard Kaede speaking to a woman. Perhaps Ayako? Kaede was not used to talking to other girls anyway.

I came out of the bathroom while drying my hair. This was really troublesome. I plopped myself to the bed and switched the TV on and watched while still drying my hair. I felt Kaede going my way and I could feel my body trembling. Just his presence… just his presence could make me insane!

I looked up at him questioningly as he handed me a cup of strawberry ice cream - my favorite flavor.

Kaede cocked his head as if puzzled by my action so he explained and that was queer for I was not used to hearing him speak without being asked first. "Ayako came and brought ice cream. I thought you like strawberry so…"

He still remembered that I like strawberry!

I was so happy. I smirked and faked my concentration to the TV although I was rejoicing deep inside knowing that Kaede still remembered many things about me.

Kaede stepped back to sit on his bed. He was slightly pouting as he watched TV with pillows on his lap and eating ice cream.

So cute. I wanted to push him to the bed and kiss him… and…

I sighed inwardly. What am I thinking?!

************

I woke up with the sound of raindrops. I felt cold so I rose to get an extra blanket when I realized that Kaede was not in sight. I rubbed sleep off my eyes as if I'm just imagining things. But yes, he was not in the room. I went downstairs to see if he was there and found no one. The whole inn was quiet. I felt worried all of the sudden. It was raining after all. What if he went to the gym to practice and could not go back? He would get sick if he was outside.

So I returned to our room and grabbed two jackets: one for me and the other one for him in case he did not bring any. I picked an umbrella, unfortunately, only one, but at least there was one.

I left the inn and went to the gym. But the gym was close and nobody was sure inside. Where could he be?

I heard a creaking sound just behind the bushes quite near the lake so I silently made my way there. Cautious too. In case he was not Kaede and was some freak.

But it was he. His image was always vivid in my eyes.

He was leaning against the metal post of the swing hugging himself. I stepped closer but he seemed not perceiving my presence. Perhaps he was in deep thought… as always.

He looked so fragile now, not the cold and tough man everybody used to see. And I like seeing the side he would not let other people see. That made me loved him even more…

He straightened himself and I could already discern that he would run back to the inn. Tsk tsk tsk. Not thinking, kitsune. I walked hastily to him. He shivered and I knew he was really cold already. He was a little damp too. So, before he could move any further, I draped him the jacket I brought. He stirred and looked at it then turned and stared at me.

He seemed so vulnerable… I could not help but smile… slight but genuine…

His eyes widened and I noticed a faint blush on his cheeks as he uttered my name, Akira…

"I mean… Sendoh…" he hastily corrected himself.

I wanted to embrace him but I just stepped closer bringing him just a hairline away from me. I fixed the jacket hanging on his well-sculpted shoulders as I asked, "Why are you here?"

I felt his body shivered slightly… might be the temperature… also might be because of me…

"Let's go back," I suggested then opened the umbrella and stepped off the swing while gently tugging his arm urging him to follow me. We walked back to the inn quietly.

************

I was leaning against the wall watching him dried himself.

"Thanks," he said softly.

"Why were you there?" I asked again not having to receive his answer earlier.

"Just to get some air."

I sighed silently. I could feel my superiority was overtaking my senses again. I have to try to prevent that to happen though. "And you did not even think about the weather and the time? It's already past midnight and it's cold. You did not even bring anything to warm you," I asked trying to tone down my voice. But I was sure I sounded like a nagging husband…

Husband…

Hmm… not a bad idea…

"What if you got sick?" I continued as I shifted my position, straightened up and crossed my arms over my chest.

"I'm already a grown-up. I know how to take care of myself," Kaede retorted and from his tone, I could already discern that he was getting annoyed already. I have to be careful… but my body was the one working… not my mind already. Perhaps… my heart too? I cared for him and I did not want anything bad, even the slightest, to happen to him.

"You do? But what have you just done tonight?" I countered urging him inwardly to admit his mistake.

"It's none of your concern."

I knew he would say that. But anyway…

"None of my concern? If it's not then why would I be wasting my time going down searching for you?"

"Yeah. Why? Why did you waste your time on me anyway?" he questioned me, his eyes were blazing with unknown emotion. He was glaring at me, but I still felt okay even though my body was still careless…

"Because I am concerned about you… because I still love you…" I answered quickly regretting it. But it was too late though. I said it already. Now all I have to do was to wait for him to punch and kick me and throw me out of the window.

But he did not.

Instead, he lowered his gaze as if suddenly shy. I could tell from the way he frowned and glanced at me that we shared the same feeling. But we clearly knew our situation.

He did not know that I were already free.

And he was not.

"How many times have I tried to forget you, Kaede… I tried hard… but… it's difficult," I confessed as I made my way to him. His eyes were glistening with unshed tear and I knew I hated to see that to him. However…

I sat beside him and reached for his face. He did not decline but he was still avoiding my gaze. I lifted up his face as I wrapped my other arm around his waist and pulled him closer to me. I felt sorry for him and for me… we both knew that anything was useless now… or… was it?

His forehead touched my shoulder as if he was suddenly tired. Perhaps he was. So I pulled him more closely until his head was completely resting at my shoulder.

"I love you… I still love you…" I repeated as I smelled the scent of his hair. It had been a long time but his scent was still vividly alive in my senses.

"You should not…" he disagreed silently. I felt tears dampening my clothes. I knew he was crying… and it was all my fault.

"Because you are already with Sakuragi?" I gently asked while I caressed and kissed his smooth locks. He nodded once.

"But it doesn't mean you have to stop being with Sakuragi… it doesn't mean you have to love me…" I spoke silently as a jab of pain stabbed me. I knew it… I knew that it would not matter if Kaede could not love me back… but it still hurt me…

He shook his head and lifted his eyes on me. "Hana… and Koshino…"

My eyes narrowed with the mention of Hiroaki's name. I pushed him gently and turned my head to avoid my face being seen. "We're no more Kaede… he knew… he knew all along that I could not love him the way… I love you… That was why he broke up with me… he said that he could not complete me… he said… that I am still incomplete myself…"

"I knew he was right but I denied it… But seeing you… having you with me again… was enough to knock me to my senses and face it… that even after what happened… throughout these years… it is still you that… I hold most precious to me…"

"Kaede…" I finally got the courage to face him again. He was still crying and I knew that it did not suit him. A smile fits to him more. "Kaede," I repeated as I cupped his face with my both hands and forced him to look at me. "You don't have to return my feelings. I just wanted you to know," I stopped as he shook his head.

"No. I don't have to return your feeling," he said and I felt my heart clenched. It was what I was telling him to do, right? But it was painful… to hear those words from him. "Because I had them even before you told me," he continued.

I was stunned. I was overjoyed. I felt near bursting to tears… Yet… we still had our current situation in our mind.

"But it is not possible anymore, Akira… however we want it to be…"

Yes. He was right. He was very right… but I still believe that miracles do happen, Kaede… and I wish, no, I hope, that there would be one to happen for us both…

************

^_^ I like this chapter… I guess I made some sense…

Well… what could that miracle be?

SAKURAGI DYING?!?!?!?! No. No. No. That would not be a very good… solution… right?

Oh… umm… well… I hope that the next chapter would be the last… but… ehehe… if it would not be then… oh but I promise that this would not exceed for more than four chapters!


	3. Special Chapter

Game Again *Special*

By Miku

* Standard disclaimers apply.*

***********

Hiroaki:

_Date: Feb 13_

I was watching you silently with a slight frown on my face, as you struggle in preparing a dish. You really looked so silly and… careless… but of course I knew that you were more than what you show me…

Akira… why did I love you in the first place anyway?

Because you're handsome? Nah. If you would come to think of it, a once-straight man would not love a once-straight man just because of physical appearance. It would be seldom for a man to appreciate if his friend (or best friend like in my case) was handsome and sexy (I could not find the closer word). It's like how a woman would seldom appreciate another woman's beauty (oftentimes, they wanted to be the one appreciated really).

Was it because you're so good at basketball? But just like the case I mentioned before, if a man was very skilled with something, his friend would not fall for him, right? They would just probably want to enjoy being with him and at times even want to compete with him. It would be the same in case the man was fun to talk to.

You were even so careless at times, not to mention, irresponsible – being late in any appointments you had, _accidentally_ breaking things now and then… as if you were still a kid. You always flirt with women whenever I could not see you… you talk a _little_ _dirty_ at times…

So then why did I love you? Or rather, why _do_ I love you?

Even though you were always smiling, they were not genuine… the smile you show to others (even to me at times) was just like a natural habit and held no special meaning… you just smile because… you were known to have been always smiling.

It was so seldom now to see you really happy. Before, when you talk about Rukawa, that _beautiful_ (as what you implied back then) Shohoku ace, I could really perceive your happiness. Your eyes were sparkling like a child who just tasted his first candy. Your face would even flush sometimes – in that way, I could really know if you were excited.

And you know what, Akira? I was so jealous whenever I saw that expression on your face whenever the subject was that raven boy. I never saw that smile and look of you whenever we just talk about… other things… like… us.

You knew my feelings for you and I knew back then that you could only take me as your best friend. I tried to act normally during those days… until you finally told me that you loved me and that was days before Valentine's Day… before your birthday.

But I did not see the look of genuine happiness in your eyes when you told me those words…

Instead, I saw sorrow and helplessness…

And right at that moment I knew, I'm not the one you truly love… I could never be the one you could truly love… and I proved myself right, up until now…

Whenever we walk along the court where you and Rukawa played most of your one-on-ones, you would stare longingly at it, your eyes sparkling with… unknown emotion. I knew you were thinking of him during those moment.

And I could still remember the time when we were talking. You were silent all the while but were staring intently at me. I was uncomfortable that time… because I thought you were really staring at _me_. Until you said, "You're so much like Kaede…" I stopped talking. Your eyes widened and you immediately apologized. You said that you just remembered him… and that… it was nothing personal. I just nodded but I was hurt deeply inside. I knew you were still pinning for him… and sometimes I would even think that you were comparing me to him. You liked me because you could see a part of Rukawa in me… but you did not love me because I am Hiroaki. Perhaps you did actually love me… as your best friend.

I could read you like a book, Akira. I wondered at times if you knew that.

But I guess you did not.

And I guess you could not even read yourself clearly.

You still seemed to keep on denying that you were just lying about your real feelings… towards me… and towards him….

Even though we were already together for one year…

And now I realized that you could never be truly happy with me…

So I decided to finally set you free…

Because I love you…

Even though I do not know why…

I just love you because you are simply _my_ Akira…

But that would be… just until today…

Tomorrow… you're birthday… I'd give you the gift you so deserve…

I only wish that you would finally gain the guts to fight for what is yours rightly…

Because I know too that… Rukawa still loves you.

That is because you are someone who could never be forgotten.

_Date: Feb 14_

You were so cheerful today… perhaps it was because of your birthday. You treated me to a dinner at an expensive restaurant and after that we went to the seaside because that was your favorite place.

You were embracing me but… why did I still feel cold?

Because I could sense that your mind was drifting somewhere… to someone…

And I knew I was right as I saw you staring at the bridge where you and Rukawa had your last conversation and your final goodbye as what you told me before.

Sometimes I would be jealous to that raven boy… he was the only one who could make you truly happy as well as the one who could make you deeply sad. Yet… that was because of the reason that he was the one you honestly love and I had no right to hate him… for you could be contented with him and I could not give you that how much I tried…

I sighed and it caught your attention. You turned me to look at you and you were staring at me curiously. I tried my best to flash a smile… probably… the last I could give you…

"It's time for my gifts to you," I uttered softly and you smiled. I moved a little apart from you so that I could get the thing on my back pocket. After finding it, I opened the case and I could see your stunned expression as I took the necklace from it. I knelt in front of you and locked the silver chain around your neck.

"Hiro-kun… thank you…" you said tenderly as you held the chain and the pendant with the inscriptions of our initials in it.

"That's my valentine's gift for you," I explained and sat in front of him and gazed at him sincerely. This could be the last time I could ever study his face again.

"Hm? There's two?" you asked curiously, cocking your head to one side. You looked so adorable you know that I… I almost wanted to back off. I almost wanted to be selfish… I almost wanted to just keep you mine… forever…

But I had to fight it… because I knew it would be the right decision…

"There's one more, yes," I started. I could feel tears already swelling in my eyes but I tried to hold them off… just a little longer… "I'd give you the greatest gift I could ever give… the gift that I know you deserved best…"

Your eyes narrowed as you contemplated on my words. You looked at me concernedly and held my hands…

"Hiro… what's the matter?"

I held his hands tighter… this would be the last time I could ever do that too… "I'm giving you your freedom, Akira…"

You stared at me confused. You frowned and cupped my face a little harsh. "What are you saying Hiro?"

"I'm setting you free… I'm giving you the chance to return to the one who could truly make you happy…" I answered as the tears I was holding back began to burst and flow freely.

You held my shoulders and shook me a little as if trying to wake me up from… a nightmare… "Hiroaki! What are you saying? What are you…"

"I could never complete you, Akira… so I'm letting you find that someone who could do that…" I bowed. I felt tired all of the sudden. I wanted just to lean to him and sleep and think that everything was just a bad dream… but now… I was making this dream… and though I wanted it to stop… I knew I'm making the right decision…

"Hiro, I love you!"

"You love me as your best friend, Akira. But you…"

"Look at me Hiro. I love you and…"

Stop lying anymore Akira… it would only hurt you… and me more… I might be tempted to just yield to you…

"But you love someone else greater than you do to me…"

He stopped for a while and stared me desperately. I confirmed that I was right…

"Hiro…"

"Akira, I love you. I love you so much that's why I'm doing this. Because you are still incomplete yourself and I want you to be with that someone who would truly give you contentment and peace…"

"Hiro…"

"Be with him. Be happy. And that would make me happy as well…"

I've never felt this pained before… I've never felt like dying… only until I pushed Akira away…

***********

End of Game Again Special (1st)

***********

What do you think minna? See? I'm a very mean person and I love bringing sadness to innocent people… but… I really liked this part. Actually, I don't know much about Hiroaki Koshino. I'm not even sure if he was Akira's best friend but I could say from the series that they were really the closest members in Ryonan team so I guess it was right.

I'm not a SenKosh fan actually and I don't know Hiro-kun's attitude… but… ehehehe… well… I really enjoyed writing this one… I hope I can do better with Hana-kun's POV. ^_^

Thanks for the patience!

^_^


	4. Part 3

Game Again 

By Miku

* Standard disclaimer applies in this fic. Thank You. *

*sigh* I should stop doing fic with triangle pairings… yeah… and a fic with angst always in it…

Oh well… ^_^ Thanks for the review! ^_^ And… umm… well… I guess I wasted one chapter (?) of having both POVs? Right??? What do you think? But I just felt like I have to. 

Oh… and I think that this story… is… well… getting out of hand again… ^^;; you see… I planned this to end happily but I guess… I would not… Ehehe… I would still try though… help me find a solution to make everybody happy and satisfied…

Training camp plot ended…

^_^ Fast, ne? Oh well… R&R and thanks!

Lastly: Please don't hate me for this chapter… WAAAAAA!!! 

***********

Rukawa sighed after he paid his fare to the cab. He ascended the stair leading to the room he and Sakuragi shared. 

At last, training camp had ended.

During those days he was with Sendoh brought back past feelings and he knew he would not forget them easily. They knew that they shared the same feeling… but they knew their current state and it could not be changed that easily unless they were some kind of unfeeling and insensitive creatures. 

Sendoh and Rukawa spent the remaining days in the camp in a subtle way with a hint of intimacy at times and over concern. To the participants, they seemed like a brothers. To others, best friends… 

But Ayako knew all along… she told them one time. 

However, that was only it… both men knew they should avoid going far from caring words and actions. 

And learn to forget each other once the camp was finish.

(à Well… I did not write the whole days Rukawa and Sendoh spent together… ^^;; but if you want for me to write them… ah… I dunno… perhaps this is the ending already. ^^;; Just one more "special chapter" and I'm done… there's nothing significant that happened during the training camp anyway other than what I've written before… ^^;; not even lime… ehehe… as I've mentioned in the story before… "They were avoiding it,"right? ß)

Rukawa opened the door and found the place too quiet. It was only seven in the morning anyway; perhaps his lover was still asleep. He wondered what would the redhead's expression be once he saw him. Hanamichi knew that today's Kaede's arrival but not this early. 

He switched the light on the living room and proceeded to their room. He opened it silently… and the first thing he saw was Sakuragi, lying on the bed with a woman beside him, and only the dark blanket covered their nakedness. The woman had a shoulder-length brown hair and fair complexion. She was pretty. No wonder Sakuragi would like her. Much more… she was… Haruko…

Rukawa just stared at the sight of his lover with another woman. He just stood at the door with his eyes showing nothing but tiredness and indifference… He did not want to deal with other emotions… trying to forget a man he so loved was already spending too much of his energy. 

"Hanamichi," he whispered the name jadedly.

After a few minutes, he walked silently and placed his bag on one corner of the room and left without even closing the door. It was a subtle way of informing Sakuragi of his arrival.

He went to the kitchen, opened the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water and drank. Then he checked the cupboard for something to fry and he found a can of sausage. That would be enough to fill his aching stomach. But actually, he would just cook to have something to do… or else… he would be doing something… unnecessary and brash.

He was frying when he felt someone's presence standing on the open doorway of the kitchen. He needed not to turn to see who it was though. He perfectly knew that he was Hanamichi. Rukawa continued cooking.

Nobody spoke. 

Rukawa was now fixing a plate for him when the redhead called out to him, "Kaede…"

He did not reply. What would he say in the first place anyway? Let Sakuragi do the talking and realize his mistake. But actually, he knew he had no right to be totally mad to the redhead… he himself betrayed him in some way… and he knew that his lover deserved more…

Rukawa was now setting the table. He actually prepared two plates… for him and Sakuragi. He pulled one chair and sat. Then he glanced at the redhead questioningly – an invitation to eat. 

Sakuragi nodded and walked passed him to get to his chair. Rukawa immediately felt heat radiating from the redhead and smelled of something familiar. The first thing that entered his mind was… alcohol. 

"Where's Haruko?" Kaede asked with no trace of malice or hatred in his voice. But as he suspected, Sakuragi bit his lower lip and stiffened with the mention of the name. After sitting, the redhead answered, "She… already left…" and Rukawa just nodded.

Silence.

"Itadaikimasu," both uttered silently. Rukawa started eating but Sakuragi was just sitting still with his grip tightening on the chopsticks and with eyes lowered. 

Finally, Rukawa sighed. Without looking at Hanamichi, he said, "We could talk after we eat." 

The redhead nodded and began eating slowly. 

***********

"Do you want coffee?" Rukawa asked as he stood up from his chair and started fixing the dishes. Sakuragi stood as well and began helping him. "It would help you recover from hang-over," he suggested and Sakuragi only nodded still unable to look at Kaede straightly.

After they washed dishes, Rukawa started preparing two cups of coffee while Sakuragi sat on the chair still with his gloomy expression. The raven boy placed one cup in front of Sakuragi and the latter took it silently. 

"Kaede…" Sakuragi attempted to speak only to be halted by the other boy.

"You better take a bath to refresh you," Rukawa suggested again and Sakuragi just nodded… again.

***********

He could hear the splash of shower in the bathroom… the sound comforted him somehow… 

Now what?

What should he do to fix things up?

He was not mad. That was the weird truth. He was not even jealous. He was just quite stunned… and tired. He was not even hoping for Hanamichi to explain or even to apologize. He just… did not care… What he wanted was to know how things would turn up now…

It was a good excuse to break up with him now, right? Leave Hanamichi and then he could be free at last… but for what? But for whom? Akira? No.

He decided after the camp that he would not expect anymore… he would not hope anymore… He promised to himself that it would be the last time he would share his most intimate feelings to him…

And he did not intend to leave Hanamichi whatever the circumstances might be…

Unless the latter decided for it…

But now…

The bathroom door opened and the redhead appeared wearing only a faded jeans; a towel was hanging around his neck.

"You feeling good now?" Kaede asked as he continued unpacking his things. He saw the "tensai" sweater and he nearly smiled…

"Aa…" the redhead answered. He made his way to the bed where the raven boy was sitting and he sat beside him. "Kaede, I want to explain…" he started.

"Oh? But I'm not asking for you to."

Sakuragi lowered his eyes, ashamed. "We did not intend to… I mean… I did not intend to…"

"And she did?" Kaede asked suddenly wanted to challenge his lover. 

The redhead sighed and stared at him. "Kaede…"

Rukawa took a hard heave and turned to look at Sakuragi who had a despaired and helpless look on the face. "Hana… it doesn't matter to me…"

Sakuragi's eyes widened as he heard Rukawa. And then they narrowed pleadingly as if he just realized something. 

"And no," Kaede opposed as he comprehended what his lover could have been thinking, "It's not because I don't care about you… I just…"

"Tell me Kaede, do you want me to leave you now?" Sakuragi asked sadly ad his body slumped even more.

Rukawa was taken aback for a moment. Why would Sakuragi think about that? Just because of this mistake… but Rukawa did not really care about what his lover just did… because… he knew that he had done the same… only not in the physical way… 

"Hana… I don't," Kaede confirmed.

"I thought you would want to… after seeing that spiky again…" 

The raven boy was even more stunned. How did Hanamichi know? Did Ayako tell him?

"I heard Ayako asked him to call you… when I was on the phone." 

Kaede could not speak for a while. So Hanamichi knew… but then… it was not a big deal to him anymore. Kaede nodded. 

"Do you love him, Kaede?" the redhead asked staring deeply at Kaede.

"It's not the issue right now, Hana…" 

"But you told me that you don't need my explanation… but I wanted to hear your answer."

Kaede sighed as he stood up to return some unused and already-washed clothes back to the closet. "I don't care about him anymore… and I don't care about what you did… I only care about how things would be now between the two of us," he answered knowing that part of it was a lie. He did care about Sendoh still…

"And… how would it be between us… now?" 

Kaede sighed for the nth time. "I don't know Hana… the truth is… if you slept with a man, I would not care… but you just slept with a girl… Haruko for that matter… and you should know what I mean."

"Kaede…"

"I don't know what happened fully. And I don't want to hear it anymore. I don't want to decide. You can decide if you want. But what matters for me right now is her decision…"

Hanamichi stared at him questioningly that made Rukawa sighed again. 

"Look. She would be the one gravely affected… that is… you should know what I mean," he explained as he returned to sit beside his wistful lover.

"I love you Kaede… I love you…" Hanamichi uttered desperately as he leaned to Kaede and rested his head to the latter's shoulder. 

Kaede's eyes narrowed in pity as he began stroking his lover's back trying to soothe him. "I know… but I don't want to destroy one's life, Hana…"

"It would not be your fault, Kaede… I just hope that…"

Rukawa nodded knowing what the redhead wanted to say. If what happened between Haruko and Hanamichi resulted to another life… things would be so complicated… for Hana…

Because Kaede knew deep inside that he would not be too much affected and how he hated himself for that… he's so unfeeling… for his lover… 

But that's the sad truth. He would not care so much if the redhead would leave him- that would be if Hanamichi did that willingly. He would not care so much if he would be alone again… 

Because there would be one Akira who would accept him with open-arms?

No. At least… he would avoid that…

Unless Hanamichi would hate him as they separate…

But as long as the redhead love him, even when they part, he would not give himself the right to be happy… that would be the least he could do to make up with his cruelty… for he knew that he was the reason why each one of them were suffering…

***********

After opening the door of his former apartment, he roamed his eyes around noting every corner. The whole place did not change… why would it be anyway? He just left for not more than three years…

_Three years…_

He put his bag down and walked around the area. At least the place was already dust-free. He asked the owner of the apartment to have it cleaned before he returned. He opened the sliding door to the balcony, leaned against its frame for a while as he viewed the vastness of Kanagawa…

Back to this place again…

Back to where he belonged in the first place…

Of silence and coldness… of indifference and isolation…

Hanamichi would be married to Haruko next week. It would be useless to remain in their apartment anyway so he just decided to return to his old place, after all, Hanamichi had all the right to their apartment because he was the one who paid for it. 

His lover, rather, _former_ lover did not want to leave him. But fate decided for it already. Haruko was expected to bear a child now and the redhead was the father… Haruko knew the situation – that Hanamichi would marry her just because of the child. 

And Rukawa knew that so well… that was why he decided to leave… he was now working his VISA to America. That would help all of them forget. Maybe it that way too, Hanamichi would regain his love for Haruko and finally be contented and happy with his family.

It was the right thing to do anyway. Compared to his relationship with Hanamichi before which was not publicly accepted, at least he could be involved now in a dignified status.

On the other hand, Kaede knew he could live alone. After all, he had been alone for almost the rest of his life. 

But it would be hard now…

After experiencing being appreciated and loved…

He knew he would miss the feeling… a lot…

He would just find a course for him in the US and then maybe play basketball again… That was where he belong in the first place anyway… to the world of basketball and basketball alone…

Not to anybody's arm…

He shivered – feeling cold all of the sudden…

"Akira…"

Sendoh called to him before asking if he was alright. Of course he said he was. The spiky-head even asked if Rukawa would want for him to come or accompany him back to Kanagawa. The raven boy refused knowing it would only stir forbidden emotions…

Did he not promise to himself before that he would not make himself happy unless Hanamichi would already be?

But was he being unfair to Sendoh too?

He even told the other man not to communicate with him anymore… and that maybe he would be better off with Koshino… Sendoh just stayed silent on the line then and Rukawa knew he was really being unfair and cruel…

Just because he did not want to feel responsible for the unhappiness of the people around him…

But he was already…

How he hoped he could go to America already…  

And months passed…

He was now standing in the departure area of the airport waiting for his plane…

He would leave Japan for now… perhaps he would never return again… He would finally work for his dream in America… the dream he disregarded for some time just because of his stupidity to love…

However, he could feel his chest lacking of air, like there was a lump waiting to be released. He could feel coldness from his feet creeping up to his cheeks and he shivered hating the feeling immediately… He scanned the place for a seat and finding one, he rested there for a while. He was still shivering… he was feeling cold inside and outside… and he knew why but he would just deny it…

Deny the truth that he was regretting this…

Feeling incomplete not having to see the people who he had treasured throughout his stay… 

But he knew this would perhaps be better…

And they would not mind him leaving at all… 

They would not mind at all…

He could feel his eyes heating up and again he hated himself for it. How could he be so sensitive now? Why should he feel this way now? Why was he gaining emotions all of the sudden…

He breathe in some air hoping in some way it would prevent the feeling to burst out and conquer him… but it was hard… as he could feel his heart clenching and in no time he knew he would suddenly cave in.

But not now… not while he was still in Japan… the land that knew nothing about the Kaede behind the coldness… 

He heard the name of the plane he would take and he slowly stood up preparing himself. He watched as how most of the departing people in the place embraced their love ones and see their eyes shed tears. He watched as how some of them even refused to let go of the hold to the people around them. He watched as he saw sadness in their eyes… and he watched how the people they were going to leave behind smile to give them encouragement…

The feeling was back again to him… he looked above the ceiling so as to prevent any tears from falling… he inhaled deeply and bit his lower lip… Then he bent down to grab his traveling bag when a voice called him…

"Rukawa!" a woman…

He turned to recognize her and she was… Ayako… she was waving at him… 

Kaede's eyes narrowed in confusion and then widened as he saw Kogure, Miyagi and Mitsui ascending from the escalator. Then they ran towards him… shouting his name… that made him part his lips in immeasurable astonishment… he could feel his heart clenching once more and tears swelling in his eyes again…

"Hey, you did not tell us you're leaving!" Mitsui scowled. 

"We could at least gave you something for your trip, you know!" Miyagi nagged.

"Take care of yourself there, Rukawa-kun…" Kogure uttered with his always gently voice. 

"Don't forget us, boy!" Ayako exclaimed as he slapped Kaede's back that brought the latter to stumble a little. 

"What are you doing here…?" the raven boy asked, surprise and confusion obvious in his tone as well as other… denied… emotion.

"Bidding you farewell of course, kitsune…" answered a familiar voice behind the three former Shohoku players. 

Sakuragi appeared, with one arms on his waist, smirking… his eyes sparkling with… genuine tenderness. Haruko was standing beside him smiling sweetly… as always…

Kaede suddenly felt shy all of the sudden as he lowered his gaze and but harder his lower lip. He felt Hanamichi stepping closer to him and cupped his chin lifting his face up. 

"Don't be sad, Kaede… I'll feel bad if you do…" he uttered softly as he wiped away the tears that Kaede unknowingly released…

the raven boy shook his head and lowered his face again embarrassed of the freely gushing tears flowing from his closed eyes. "No… I'm just happy… to see you all…" he spoke silently as he felt the air jamming his chest suddenly exploded. He lifted one hand to cover his face as his body began trembling uncontrollably. 

He never expected this. 

He never deserved this.

Yet…

He felt arms wrapped around his back. He was so overwhelmed with emotions that his knees were starting to tire. He just rested his head to the redhead's shoulder. 

"Take care of yourself there, Kaede, hm?" 

He nodded while now sobbing. 

"Here," Hanamichi said as he inched Kaede away from him and extended his arm to Haruko who lend Hanamichi something. Kaede could barely see with the tears clouding his sight. Hanamichi wiped some tears away again and smiled. "Here, take this with you…" 

Kaede looked down and stared at the redhead's hand that was holding a cloth or something. Then he smiled upon recognition. "It's your tensai sweater…" he said as he took it from Hanamichi.

The redhead nodded. "Take care of it… and take care of yourself… and come back to us, okay?" 

Kaede nodded feeling the tears swelling up in his eyes again… he never knew he had so much tears… and now he assured himself… he would come back… 

"And Kaede…" the raven boy lifted up his eyes to see Hanamichi and stared at him inquiringly. The redhead continued, "And Kaede, I'm releasing you from me… I want you to be happy now… as what I know I would be…"

Rukawa parted his lips in a voiceless word, "Hana…"

"I know I'll learn loving her," Hanamichi whispered, "But I'll always held you precious in my heart…"

"Hana…" again he uttered the name silently and he trembled again and cried.

"Now, now…" Ayako intervened stroking the raven boy's back. "You'll be late on your flight unless you wanted to stay here a little longer," she reminded, her eyes teasing. 

Kaede smiled in response and wiped his tear. "Aa… I know," he answered as he stepped back and looked at the people gathered around him. "T-thank you…" 

They nodded and smiled genuinely as they watched Kaede slowly walked away from them.

He is Kaede Rukawa… a former student and player of Shohoku High. He had competed with great teams and he succeeded being known as the best player in Japan. 

He was an aloof boy… fearing close contact with other people…

Until he met Hanamichi…

"Hey…" Kaede stopped upon hearing the familiar voice. He just stood still fearing to turn around and see… and expect…

"Hey, Kaede…" the man repeated as he stepped closer to him. 

Yes… he was an aloof boy once… fearing close contact with other people, perhaps even until now…

Until he met Hanamichi…

And until he met Akira…

"You're leaving, I see…" he continued speaking as he wrapped his arms around the raven boy and pulled him closer into an embrace. "I'll miss you…"

"Akira…" he finally spoke as he turned around to face the other man who had closed eyes, lashes wet… almost near to crying…

"I love you Kaede… and I'll always do… I'll wait for you… even if it takes forever…" Sendoh said and pulled the smaller boy to him again almost refusing to let go. 

Kaede smiled. "It doesn't have to be forever, Akira…" he started as he pushed the man gently to leave space between them. "It doesn't have to be…"

Sendoh watched Rukawa parted, with a smile etched in his face… a genuine smile that only Kaede could create…

Rukawa was smiling too, contented and happy for the first time…

_It doesn't have to be forever Akira for I will return to this land… I will surely return… for the people I treasure… for you… because I love you… and I'll always do… and it is forever…_

**OWARI**

***********

The end of Game Again minna… ^_^

Please review… I need it so badly this time… should I make another fanfic ^^;; I don't want to be cruel anymore… and was the last part too mushy? Ehehehe… I'm sorry… I'm not used to writing love stories actually… 

So…

What do you think???

^^;;

For the Hana POV… I don't think I could make it now… ah… because… ano… I want to end this fic already… I don't want to write about this fic already… it makes me so sad… ehehe… you know I was crying the whole time I'm writing the last part that's why I could have probably made no sense… Please understand…

Ehehe…

There…

Thanks for reading. 

But as I've promised, I'll write a happy HanaRu and maybe SenRu too… next time… I need to get inspiration first (of a happy and not angst-ridden plot).

Thanks again!


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